Electrical Theory - by Joseph Lucas


GrumpyBodger

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[b] Electrical Theory - by Joseph Lucas[/b]

Positive earth depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as “smoke”.

Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another.

When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.

Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark.”

Joseph Lucas “The Prince of Darkness”
Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone. Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices.

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Blimey John, 'watt' brought this on.....the full load current of your three phase mind must have blown a fuse working this lot out !
Very interesting, it reminds me when reading the comment about 'all things British leak' when I was told that if a twin cam didn't leak oil then there was probably no oil in it !

I don't have any toy cars anymore...all sold including the dangerous silly Seven as my money seems to be required in many other directions...daughters buying houses, Sisters with clapped out Ford Ka's needing brothers help - my house gobbling cash with blown up tumble driers and water mains leaks costing over £1k.... where will it all end? But it was great to visit the LDC stand at the NEC on Saturday and see it buzzing with enthusiasm and two wonderful Elan's that you would have drooled over!

Tim.

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Very good. If not a bit rich seeing this American article when you consider the 'quality' of any USA built comercial electrical/electronics kit, which mostly resembles 1960's construction. Probably why it's now made in China ;o)

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Hi, of course all of that was copied from somewhere else Tim & I posted it here because it amused me & thought it might also amuse you Ian ;)

I'm hoping that some kind soul will post some photos of those droolable Elans soon.

I see that "the other Lotus stand" also had a good collection of Elans; including the pistachio "Supersprint" with a Duratec engine!

Good to hear from you again Tim but you must try to reorganise your priorities before middle aged monotony sets in. I mean did the 7 really have to go; surely not ;)

Unfortunately all plans for me to enjoy the Elan celebrations this year all went haywire; something which I will never cease kicking myself for, bur hey that's how it goes sometimes :wacko:

Cheers
John

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